The Expendables should come with a disclaimer that goes something like this: Warning: The film you are about to see is made for GUYS by GUYS who make movies for GUYS, movies that feature lots of GUYS doing things that GUYS like to see other GUYS doing in movies that are made almost exclusively for GUYS.
In all honesty, girls who like action films should have a great time here as well, but there is enough testosterone on display in The Expendables to incite aggression and perhaps even violence within the theater. Watch yourselves.
Make no mistake, this is not an insightful and thought-provoking film about the brutal realities of war. This is not a tense, gripping account of a siege wherein authenticity and suspense illuminate the bloody toil of an all-consuming power struggle. No, this is an adrenaline-soaked balls-to-the-wall action film that delivers roughly 100 minutes of gleeful carnage. All this glorious mayhem takes place in a rambunctious landscape populated by ultimate badasses who are so utterly macho that each of them borders on being a caricature. Yet the film succeeds from start to finish because Sylvester Stallone is a truly gifted director who knows exactly what he wants to accomplish. A wonderful cast, a rocking soundtrack, and some truly fantastic choreography backed by spectacular effects give him all the tools he needs to provide audiences with a damn good time at the theater.
In all honesty, I was perhaps expecting something a bit more epic, but by the time the picture drew to a close with Thin Lizzy belting out The Boys are Back in Town, I knew I had nothing to complain about. Some people are going to poke holes in the plot, and some people are going to say there wasn’t enough character development, but do yourself a favor and ignore those fools. Stallone made this film for people who want to see a lot of shit get blown up, and he purposely populated the picture with people that fans of such films already know. Does it matter why Jason Statham chose to arm himself with knives so long as he kills lots of people with sharp metal objects? Do we need more insight into Dolph Lundgren’s troubled psyche? No! It’s Dolph Lundgren, for crying out loud—those of us keeping score know we can’t trust that dude before the movie even starts.
The Expendables is about action and robust fun, and it succeeds in terrific fashion based on those merits. The dialogue is witty, the pace is relentless, and Stallone made sure that everyone got a chance to shine as the chaos explodes across the scene. There are chases, gunfights, knifefights, hand-to-hand combat, gore, awesome explosions, and enough sophisticated weaponry on display to please any avid Guns & Ammo reader. I’ve always been a fan of the thunderous shotgun Steve McQueen wields in The Getaway, but Terry Crews unleashes hell in the final act of The Expendables with the most badass gun I have ever seen, and I’ve fired a howitzer before. Seriously. The choreography and the effects are incredible throughout, and I was definitely impressed by Stallone’s ability to shoot both major action pieces and intimate fight scenes. In particular, his deft handling of all the astounding martial arts on display is impressive considering that is something he has little experience with.
Stallone and Statham are at the forefront throughout, and they compliment one another well, but each member of this magnificent guest gets ample opportunity to work their magic, and surprisingly no one comes up short in the process. Stallone is the star, and he is as charismatic and powerful as ever, and Statham is terrific as the heart and soul of the piece. Mickey Rourke is a joy to watch as Tool, the tattoo artist who provides this mercenary unit with jobs when he isn’t waxing philosophical. Jet Li really excels in a very vulnerable performance as a hand-to-hand combat expert who is acutely aware of his diminutive stature, and this humanity made his fight scenes much more dramatic than they typically are. Dolph does what he does best, piss people off and tear them limb from limb. Even relative newcomers like Crews and Randy Couture are given several chances to show their stuff, and they handle dialogue and spectacular fight scenes with ease. The villains include Eric Roberts at his snide best, Steve Austin kicking lots of ass, and Gary Daniels in a smaller role that still allows him to demonstrate his considerable martial arts prowess. This is honestly one of the biggest and baddest casts ever, and it seems that everyone really relished this opportunity to get together and play cops and robbers on the big screen. You have to credit the filmmakers for putting this outfit together, and you have to credit Stallone for providing them with so much to do and making such good use of their efforts.
In closing, The Expendables is not the smartest or most moving film you’ll see this summer, and everyone involved could truly care less. The Expendables is the most explosive action film to hit theaters in quite some time, and anyone looking for a potent dose of explosive machismo need look no further. The Expendables has to be considered a terrific success if you base your judgment on Stallone’s ability to make the picture he envisioned, as I imagine that this fun spectacle that never slows down and never pulls its punches is precisely what he had in mind. Simply put, The Expendables is an absolute blast. If you consider yourself a fun of such pictures, you owe it to yourself to check out this festive brawl as soon as possible, and don’t be surprised if you find that you’ve never had so much fun watching shit get blown up.