Ladies and gentlemen, our alien overlords of metal, GWAR, have done it again! Starting next month, metalheads everywhere will have the opportunity to dip their meat in GWAR-B-Q Sauce! (No "That's what she said" jokes, please.) With the annual GWAR-B-Q event becoming both more successful and more legendary with each passing year, something like this was bound to occur, and the Slave Pit have not let us down. Bearing the slogan, "GWAR-B-Q Sauce--it actually tastes good!", the sauce arrives with plenty of assurance that it is 100% edible and fit for human consumption.
GWAR-B-Q Sauce will receive its official world premiere at GWAR's first ever "Meat And Meet" event on Monday, April 8 at 4 PM. But it's not all good news for local fans of the band that received the most votes in the category of "Favorite Nationally Known RVA Band" in our End Of the World Readers Poll*. Unfortunately, the "Meat And Meet" event will not be taking place here in RVA, but at Grinders in Kansas City, Missouri. And don't worry, we understand--Kansas City has a much stronger reputation for barbecue than Richmond does. But still, it's a bummer; unless you can get the day off and afford a one-day round trip plane ticket to KC, you're not gonna be able to make this particular event. (Don't get us wrong--if you CAN make it, you should totally go! And send us pics--we'll run them!)
GWAR-B-Q Sauce was created by GWAR guitarist Balsac, The Jaws Of Death. When asked to elaborate on the sauce's ingredients, the seven foot tall alien explained, "This new taste sensation is mostly made out of the blood of really hot chicks.""It was a terrible waste of fine ass," he went on to say, "but ultimately worth it because this sauce is absolutely delicious!" We were not able to determine with 100% confidence whether using GWAR-B-Q Sauce on one's spareribs would therefore constitute cannibalism, but considering the amount of blood that's been splashed on GWAR audiences during the band's live dates over the years, we can't imagine that any true GWAR fan would be bothered by the possibility.
Photo by Sarah Moore Lindsey
While GWAR-B-Q Sauce may not arrive in the Richmond area as quickly as it will appear in Kansas City, one thing's for sure--there'll be plenty of it available at the fourth annual GWAR-B-Q, scheduled to be a highlight of summer 2013 in RVA. GWAR promises that this year's event will feature "the most colossal, bone-crushing line-up yet," so we have that to look forward to. And there are rumblings of other upcoming projects from the GWAR camp this summer, including box sets, GWAR beer, and a comedy album. We'll be bringing you details as they reach us, so stay tuned!
*--That's a sneak preview for you astute readers who are paying attention--don't tell my boss! And keep an eye out for the full Readers Poll results in Issue #12 of RVA Magazine, out later this week!